Why I Said "No"

Not that didn't want to marry him, I absolutely did. However, here's what happened. We decided we were going to get married about six weeks into our relationship. So we made a trip down to Florida to see may parents so he could meet them and talk to them about it. Then we made a trip to visit his grandmother and meet his parents. His grandmother also had a diamond ring to give us. At the time I was leaving on a trip overseas in a couple of weeks and I was under the impression that he wasn't going to propose until I got back. On the way home from his grandmother's I said "you know you're going to be holding on to that ring for a few weeks" to which he replied "we'll see."

"Oh no," I said. "You are NOT springing anything on me." To that he just smiled and squeezed my hand. Not that I had any doubts, I just hate surprises when I know they're coming. Meanwhile we were already looking at wedding halls and starting some of the wedding planning. All the while I kept saying to him, "I could still say no." He always replied "I don't think you will." So to prove my point, when he was kneeling in front of my with me diamond ring and asked me to marry him, I said "No." I put the ring on my finger and showed up to my "surprise" engagement party, but I didn't say "yes". Suffice it to say all his friends instantly loved me for this fact. So throughout our entire engagement he kept trying to ask me. It became a running gag. So an emerald pendant and pearl bracelet later, I finally said yes a week before the wedding.

The Proposal

It was very simple, romantic and a little...geeky. He took me out to the park and when we got there there was an enormous heart-shaped wreath of lavender roses (my favorite color). In the center was a dog he had made at Build-a-Bear holding roses and chocolates. In the dog's mouth was a heart-shaped frame that said "Will you marry me?" Also there was his ipod hooked up to speakers with a label that said "play me". I hit play and the most hokey song I had ever heard came out of the speakers. It was some song about berry picking. He said the song reminded him of me. I stood there listening for a little while and finally said "do I need to hear the whole song?" Thankfully he said no then got down on his knee and produced the ring. I accepted the ring then proceeded to say "I never want to hear that song again." I didn't say yes but that's another story. See my next post for that one. In case you're wondering, our wedding was very Jewish and very traditional (for a Jewish wedding that is).

Our Dating Life

We went out for about two months, yes you heard me two months. When you know, you know, ok? There were some good dates, some really good dates and some really really good dates. Even the "bad" dates were still good since we just loved spending time together (and still do). During this time his geekyness would come out more and more. It's hard to pinpoint that defining moment of when I truly realized how geeky he was. Lets see, on our third date he showed me an episode of Happy Tree Friends. On our fourth date he took me to a ballroom dancing lesson. On our sixth date we went to Planet Hollywood for drinks and while we were there he pulled a game out of his pocket. On our eighth date we went to a pool hall and he joked about bringing mirrors and lasers to help us play. You get the picture.

I think what really hit home when he asked me to join him to a party his brother was having where I'd have to wear garb. God help me. I had no idea what I was getting into when we arrived at his brother's apartment so I could try on his sister-in-law's costumes. I had never experienced anything like this, I'd never even heard of anything like this. Another friend of mine scared me by showing me what larping is. Thankfully the party never happened and neither my husband nor any of his friends (at least not that I know of) are into larping.

The problem was, but the time I really realized what a geek he was I had already been swept off my feet. My roommate said she'd knew I'd married him after our first date. And now it's more than a year later since we met. Our first wedding anniversary is only a few months away and I've never been happier.

My First Encounter

A friend of mine had been staying over for the weekend. She couldn't stop talking about about this guy she had met online. She kept going on and on about how nice he is and how she thought I'd like him. (I later found out he had taken her to an obscure game store in Manhattan and while walking through the store all she kept thinking was "this is sooo Marsha!"). Anyway, so after the weekend was over she showed me his online profile (I know, I know, I swore I'd never do the online dating thing - but it worked out). He seemed kind of geeky in his profile (no surprise) but also struck me as a bit of a romantic and my friend swore he was a good guy. So I threw caution to the wind and sent him an e-mail.

We messaged a bit back and forth over the next few days. I can't remember what we spoke about in the messages. It was probably your typical online dating small talk. You know, what are your interests, what do you do for a living etc. Whatever it was, it was enough for him to ask me out before we even spoke on the phone. He asked me to come see a haunted house with him that Saturday night. So I said yes, I liked haunted houses. It sounded fun. He called me on Friday to confirm and while we were talking he discovered that we lived in the same neighborhood. So he suggested meeting up Saturday afternoon. I agreed.

I almost didn't make it that afternoon. I had just been getting over bronchitis and that morning I woke up very sick and dizzy. Lucky for me my roommate wouldn't let me cancel. So I made my way to our scheduled meeting and there he was, sitting on a park bench. He looked tall and gangly and kind of, well... geeky. So I sat down and we shmoozed for a while. He seemed pretty nice. Then he pulled out the game he thought we could play. Geeks come with games!!

We moved to a table in the park and he pulled out Gloom. It's a game where you have to depress a family as much as possible and then kill them off. My kind of game! We spent the entire afternoon playing the game and then he walked me home. That's when I discovered geeks give great hugs ;).

My Husband is a Geek

Geeks have been everywhere lately. Today's TV and movie culture is flooded with them. They have grown more and more popular with such shows such as the CW's "Beauty and the Geek" and "Reaper", and NBC's "Chuck". How do we define the word Geek? The word can have so many meanings and can mean something different to every one of us. You can find an article on Wikepedia explaining the history and definitions of the word HERE. I define a Geek as someone out of the "ordinary" someone obsessively interested in things like math, science, fantasy, technology etc. In other words, interested in things that are not classified as "mainstream". Again this can be a very personal definition and I am even having a hard time quantifying how I define it myself. I've always considered myself a Geek. Why? I was never very sociable growing up, I love and excel in math and science, I always have my nose in a fantasy novel, I enjoy sci-fi and fantasy movies and TV shows, the list goes on and on. So, like I said, I'm a Geek. Or I thought I was... Then I met my husband.

There was no denying this one, he was one of the biggest geeks I'd ever met. His brother and sister-in-law are members of the SCA and own garb, he went to a number of cons (short for conventions) regularly and had a few costumes to bring along, he owns more boardgames and video games than I know what to do with. Not to mention his DVD collection that includes titles such as "Army of Darkness" and "Fruits Basket".

There are definite advantages to being married to someone like him. He's smart, attentive, sensitive, caring, respectful, and hey, we do have a lot of similar interests. We never argue over what movie to see (we will be first in line to see the new Indy movie). Just every now and again he'll do something or say something that sets my eyes rolling and the words "Oh my god you're such a geek!" runs through my head.

I love him more than life itself, which helps when he drives me nuts with the overflowing game cabinet or clogging up my hard drive with his comic book downloads. But then he'll come home with flowers for me for no reason other than he found them in my favorite color. He never complains about going to see a "chick flick" with me. He doesn't mind coming shopping with me and enjoys watching me try on clothes. All he has to do is look at me in a certain way and my heart just melts. When it comes down to it, it's great to be loved by a geek!